L'shanah tovah - A Google Poem for the New Year

News for Rosh Hashanah: Admit the angels! (Securing Israel critical for peace, says Barack Obama.)

The "head of the year" falls on the first and second days of Tishri/Tishrei (which is not the first month) which falls in autumn on the secular calendar (in the US; in Australia, Tishrei is springtime. Say Amen).

Hear the shofar (blessings for children, turn the page)

You may know all about it , or you may just think you do (apples and honey).

We're gonna party like it's 5771 (in your social circle).

Is anybody Jewish here? (security for your High Holiday services, reasonable cost, please schedule in advance, demand is higher than ever)

Going home for Rosh Hashanah (ride needed, must arrive by sundown, can pay for gas and tolls).

Jewish girls and women, fulfill your obligation to light candles for Yom Tov (Chabad welcomes everyone to worship for Yamim Nora'im).

Rosh Hashanah recipes (feeling stressed? 10 ways to unwind before the company arrives).

What to say to you Jewish friends on Rosh Hashanah (May you be sealed in the book of life for a sweet year).

You

In order to get to you, individually,
I must talk in the first person.
I have to get you to drop modesty.
I need to tell you goodnight.
America supports you.
Have you recently been called a geek?
We are making sure you have access.
You are not a gadget.
Are you ready?
Grace to you.
It's all about you.
If you think it can't affect you, your family,
and your friends, your are sadly mistaken.
You're all I think about.
Thank you for smoking.
What would you do?
Fuck you, penguin.
I will teach you to be rich.
You look nice today.
Do you feel it?
Can you run it?
Did you know?
Stop, you're killing me!
You're going to love it.
This will destroy you.
Thank you.

Ode to Joy

Joy is a delight of the mind.
The emotion evoked by well-being,
success,
good fortune
or by the prospect
of possessing what one desires:
delight,
gaiety,
a state of happiness
or felicity.
Bliss.

Joy's rugged and reliable equipment
keeps producing
at the lowest cost per ton
inspiration,
design,
style
& other cool things.
Exercise can co-exist with an element of joy.
And it's happening
in the basement of an old luggage factory
in Park Slope.
Joy carpets.

This is the true joy in life,
the being used for a purpose
recognized by yourself as a mighty one;
the being thoroughly worn out
before you are thrown on the scrap heap;
the being a force of Nature
instead of a feverish selfish little clod
of ailments
and grievances
complaining
that the world will not devote itself
to making you happy.

For ye are our glory and joy.
Who, for the joy that was set before him,
endured the cross,
despising the shame.

Alphabet.

(I stole Slinky's idea. I'm going through the alphabet of my search history. This is fun.)

Abundant life
Abraham and Isaac
A priest and a rabbi
Babies in suitcases
Bible scriptures for baby
Bear fruit
Charlotte organic delivery
Charlotte Sunday brunch
Charlotte zombie walk
Dead Snow
Discovering Jade
Entendre
Everything is beautiful
Early miscarriage
Feed my starving children
Flour
Fish sauce
Got a new Mac
Garden zombie
General Hospital Lauren
Housekeeping service
Hiddenite
How to install a window unit AC
I don't speak French in French
If you chop a snake in half
I can tell that we are gonna be friends
Judges 4:21
Jar lifter
Jung Redbook
Knock knock joke
Kwik Save boss
Knowing the shepherd
Last exorcism
Lorem ipsum
Lawyer North Carolina starting salary
Mac icons
Monsters of Folk
Mooresville
Nearest airport Sunnyvale
No love
Next Day
Ogle
Oil spill from space
One church
Poetry assignment
Proselyte
Painting tress in the distance
Quotes from Zombie Honeymoon
Question Mark
Quill
Redneck woman
Report spam
Rico suave
Sex offender registry
Scarlet begonias
Sweet potato pie
The Artist's Way
Taxidermy
Thai Palace
Unemployment
Unity in Christ
Ugly Americans
Very early miscarriage
Visiting Florence
Venice
Watermelons
Why anonymity?
Where do KC and JOJO go to church?
Xbox
Xanga
Xe
Your mama is so ugly
You are the food that I would eat
Young men will see visions
Zombie surprise party
Zombie lawn sculpture
Zion

God.

God is the English name given to the singular,
omniscient being in deistic and theistic religions.
There are over six billion people in this world.
How can you know that God exists?
What is God really like?
We have proven the existence of God
by using scientific principles.
We have found 50 simple proofs
to show that God cannot exist.
God is imaginary.
God is real.
The Church of God has over 4 million members.
A heartfelt tale of inspiration, hope,
and redemption.
Landscape images, peaceful music,
and uplifting messages.
Repenting is easy. You are now
chatting with God.
God hates shrimp.
Why?
God is the oldest question.
What is God's name?
What in God's name?
God only works on Linux.
God loves you.
God, who also goes by the aliases Yahweh,
Allah and Jehovah to avoid debt collectors,
loves you.
Why won't God heal amputees?
You may feel God closest when you're hurting.
In the most difficult times,
you may be able to feel God's hand
moving.
You may feel God's hand
holding you.

A Journey Back in Time

My life according to Google's toolbar history, oddly in order.
Some are not mine, but sadly most are.

babiesrus
amy winehouse tattoos
mintview women's care obgyn
cough medicine for pregnancy
allen tate realty
the buttercup stationary
nursing babies
who was voted off of american idol
personal finance
wicked the musical
farmers marker, charlotte, nc
janes addiction t-shirts
dallas willard
critics of dallas willard
rambo 2008 review-NOT MINE!
I have mold on my grill
cleaning mold growth on grill
lecto divina
critics of lectio divina
my toilet water is brown
what is the difference between where and were
how long to boil hot dogs
where does spongebob work
after spinach is thawed how long is it still good
u2 song lyrics
yew trees
dizziness
friendship school of charlotte
why is my furnace making a buzzing sound
charlotte mecklenburg schools
free bejeweled
can pzfatlzgraph go in the oven

***disclaimer-I know this seems like an exercise from facebook...understood.***

Husband.

A husband is a male participant in a marriage.
A married man.
There is no one-size-fits-all formula
for being a wonderful husband.
I've been surprised by the number of times
people will search "annoying husband"
or "My husband is annoying."
Whether you are a husband looking for advice
or a woman looking for the perfect husband,
this is the place to be.
Tell your husband you are leaving for a couple of days,
and then wait, listen, and watch.
You married your husband for a reason
and committed to spending your life with him.
You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Something is not right,
but you can't figure it out.
The position of the husband in the home
and his responsibilities to his family
are quite clearly defined.
Encourage your husband to reduce expenses
and save money.
Place a long-recording digital tape recorder
under your husband's car seat.
A couple goes into an art gallery.
They find a picture of a naked woman
with her privates covered only with leaves.
Monitor your husband's cell phone.
Press as many buttons in his call log to notice
any strange numbers.
There are 7 signs your husband is cheating.
Be prepared.
This year, I realized more than ever
what had been missing.
It was you. It always was.
It always will be.