PoeTry: merely fact, mere facts, none of the above, all of the above

Bed Bugs: For Pest Control Operators

Hi, there. This is sort of multi-genre. Sorry it’s taken so long. I was excited when I saw the “numbers” assignment because really I was cheating and had already been working on the statistical nightmare that follows. Then I saw the Google assignment and was even more excited that I could doubly cheat! (Parenthetically, I didn’t include this fact, but it’s hot off the presses that the Google offices in NYC are infested with bedbugs. The moderator at bedbugger.com says that between the fact that 1) bedbugs are all over the Google search engine these days and 2) the fact that they’ve also recently infested the NYC 311 offices – which people call in order to register complaints about bedbugs, she now thinks, “now it seems like the bed bugs are trying to be funny.”

I still have to try the Google thing for real, though. I think something great would come of it.

Enjoy! Here's the "poem":

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fact: most residential dwellings in New York City have had bed bugs, 1

which smell sweet, like rotting raspberries 2

Fact: A foul, rotting, bloody-meat smell might be present in heavily infested areas. 3

Fact: they emit a “mintyness” -- freshness like cilantro.

Fact: they smell spicy like coriander.

Coriander (Coriandrum sativum L.) is an annual herb that belongs to the carrot family (Umbelliferae). The unripe fruits have a smell that has been compared to that of bedbugs. 4

Fact: I am hurting, furthermore, for curried meats, for a tangy sorbet.

Fact: bedbugs are nutty in scent, like an almond. 5

Fact: bedbugs smell like nothing except

to other bedbugs, and only when they are afraid

or aroused or have

prolifically defecated – except

when the infestation is

astounding. Fact: I say I am bloody hungry. 6

Fact: twelve pounds is a lot

for a 123-lb. woman

to lose in a period

of time shorter than two weeks. 7

Fact: I haven’t sat down in months. 7

Fact: the man on the phone promises me

it will work, will be worth

what I am paying him for. All you have to do,

he says, is first run everything possible through the dryer,

wiping down everything else (shampoo and lotion bottles, et cetera).

with rubbing alcohol. Then keep everything sealed in plastic,

when not in use, for a period of at least 3 months. That’s all. 7

Fact: bedbugs harbor pathogens in and on their bodies

but they are yet to be found

to carry disease to humans. 8

2008. Fact: news from Mayor Bloomberg’s office has had it

that bedbugs are not a health concern. 9

(Fact: severe anemia from bedbugs only happens in young children and the elderly,

and they are either barely born or nearly dead, so what the hell does it matter?) 10

Fact: in 2009, Bloomberg signed the legislation anyway. 11

Fact: It is 2010. City Councilwoman Gale Brewer says to us, The mayor has many friends who have bed bugs. He tells me, “Gail, all my friends have bed bugs what am I going to do?” So the fact of the matter is...it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor or if you're middle class, you have bed bugs. 12

Fact: a bedbug can hide in a crevice the width of a credit card, 13

the width of a Metrocard,

the dimension of money.

They hitch rides at night in taxis from Brooklyn to Harlem to your dreams.

Fact Fact Fact.

Fact: most people have an allergic reaction when bitten by a bedbug. 14

Fact: most people have no reaction whatsoever. 15

Fact: you should never take discarded items into your home. 16

However, when it comes to buying second-hand items, it is merely suggested that you “inspect” them. 17

Fact: when asked what is being done about bedbugs in his store, a Salvation Army employee said he “didn’t want to talk about it.” 18

Fact: it can take a trained professional hours to inspect for bedbugs. 19

Fact: a bedbug egg is 1/16 of an inch in diameter, and a newly hatched bug is half that size.

The eggs are tiny, whitish, and hard to see on most surfaces without magnification (individual eggs are about the size of a dust speck. When first laid, the eggs are sticky, causing them to adhere to surfaces. Newly hatched nymphs are straw-colored and no bigger than a pinhead. 20

Fact: bedbugs can go 6 months without a meal. 21

Fact: bed bugs may be able to live 6-12 months without food and can survive in infrequently-used hotel rooms or vacant apartment buildings until occupied by an unfortunate victim. 22

Fact: my favorite flavor is chocolate.

Fact: being a renter in NYC means

not only being vulnerable

to a horrifying range of pest infestations

but also

generally means paying more than $1000

for a place to live

each month,

for the rest of your life.

Fact: being a homeowner in NYC means

not only being vulnerable

to a horrifying range of pest infestations

but also

generally means paying more than $1000

or a place to live

each month,

for thirty years

or until you die,

possibly of premature causes,

(whichever comes first).

Fact: a disclosure bill, requiring NY landlords to disclose a building's bedbug status for the previous calendar year to prospective tenants was approved in June 2010 and signed into law by September. 23

Fact: according to Aaron Shmulewitz, a real estate lawyer at Belkin Burden Wenig & Goldman who represents 300 Manhattan co-op and condo boards, “Most residential buildings in New York City have had bedbugs.” 24

Fact: in the five years leading up to 2009, Brooklyn is on record as having the highest number of 311 city call center complaints on file in New York City. 25

Fact: landlords in NYC are responsible for eradicating bedbugs in their buildings. 26

Fact: hiring a licensed professional qualified to successfully eradicate a bedbug infestation and prevent its spread throughout all floors of a 3-story home in Brooklyn (one of the most common types of houses found in the borough) can easily cost more than $4000. 27

Fact: in July 2010, the average home in Brooklyn that was described as a “house” sold for $529,244,

which, at an interest rate of about 6% could easily work out to something close to $3850 per month in mortgage payments alone. 28

Fact: the median household income for Brooklyn is below the national and New York state median household incomes. 29

Fact: in 2007, the median household income in Brooklyn was $40,942 2. Home affordability guidelines suggest that no more than 30% of household income be spent servicing a home loan. For the median Brooklyn household, this would have meant that a monthly mortgage payment should not have exceeded $1,023 using the 2007 average mortgage rate of 6.34%3. Combining this with 2007 property sales records, we can calculate that the median income household could have potentially afforded approximately [only] 7.91% of the homes and apartments sold in Brooklyn in all of 2007. 30

Fact: 35 percent [of Brooklyn residents live] in two- to four-family homes. 31

Fact: the average monthly 2010 rent for a 1-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn is $1920. 32

Fact: as of Jan. 20, 2010, Brooklyn foreclosures accounted for most of the more than 2,000 foreclosure filings in New York City's five boroughs in December, based on figures from a California-based research firm. 33

Fact: Blood spots might appear on bedding where a bedbug has been crushed. 34

Fact: It is very difficult to crush a bed bug in your sleep. 35

Fact: one problem with canine bedbug inspections is false positives. 36

Fact: a person whose property has bedbugs should always hire a professional to eliminate them. 37

Fact: one of the most well-regarded pest management professionals in the world, in the specialization of bedbugs, said (off the record, of course), “Self-treatment can work; give it some time and call me in a few months if you need to.” 38

Fact: bed bugs tended to avoid resting on pyrethroid-treated surfaces (unless there were harborage odors). 39

Fact: one study showed that pyrethroid products were not repellent to bed bugs and would not cause bed bug aggregations to scatter or avoid treated surfaces. 40

Fact: heat of 97 degrees F or higher will kill bedbugs. 41

Fact: a clothes dryer set to medium to high heat (120 degrees) for 10 to 20 minutes will kill bedbugs. 42

Fact: To kill bedbugs, you should put everything…in a warm dryer for an hour or a hot dryer for 60 minutes. Put things that can’t be heated in a freezer for two weeks. Everything else … inspect carefully! 43

Fact: Putting infested items out in temperatures of 32 degrees F for a couple of days should also do the trick! 44

Fact: Bed bugs and their eggs can be killed by very low temperatures, but it is difficult to achieve them without using a deep freezer. Temperatures below 0°F (-18 C) for one to two weeks are generally believed to be needed to reliably kill all life stages. 45

Fact: 14 percent of people in Cincinnati surveyed by the health department in 2008 reported that they (or someone they knew) had had problems with bedbugs. The percentage almost doubled the following year. 46

Fact: Orkin reports that the highest number of bedbug-related service calls in the nation come from Cincinnati (followed by Columbus, Chicago, Denver and Detroit). 47

Fact: Terminix reports that New York, Philadelphia, Detroit, and Cincinnati, are, in that order, the cities in the nation from which the largest number of bedbug-related calls originate. 48

Fact: in the summer of 2010, Columbus, Ohio was named the most bedbug-infested city in North America. 49

Fact: The Limited, Inc. owns and operates Victoria's Secret; one of the stores in their “emerging brands” operating division includes Abercrombie & Fitch. 50

Fact: Hollister, in turn, is owned by Abercrombie & Fitch, which is owned by The Limited. 51

Fact: the address for The Limited is

Three Limited Parkway
P.O. Box 16000
Columbus, Ohio 43216 52

Fact: in NYC, Abercrombie and Fitch, Victoria's Secret, and Hollister –

all retailers of brand new clothing –

were briefly shut down in July of 2010

due to bedbug infestations.

Fact: the AMC Empire 25 was shut down

for the same reason

the following month. 53

Fact: Bed bugs cannot climb up slick surfaces like metal and glass, and such. 54

Fact: When many bedbugs are present and/or when surfaces such as fabric, wood, paper, etc. are unavailable, bedbugs will be found on metal, plastic, etc. 55

Fact: Pluto is not a planet. 56

Fact: Pluto is too a planet! 57

Fact: the year before all of this happened I had dated a man who, once upon a time, long before the resurgence of bedbugs in North America, had once packed up all of his things and moved across the country to be with a woman he had just met. The relationship that ensued lasted for twelve years.

Fact: six months after this same man had declared that he would love me for the rest of his life (but his plans to move in with me fell through) I found out that my house was infested. 58

Fact: a man who washes his hands frequently is unlikely to sleep in a bed that might have bugs in it.

Fact: I washed my hands so many times that winter that they bled, staining my sheets.

Fact: Antidepressants are used not only for anxiety but also obsessive-compulsive disorder. 59

Fact: a person who lives at least 100 miles from my house is eleven times more likely to know what I went through than someone living in the immediate tri-state metropolitan area.

Fact: sometimes I feel isolated and lonely.

Fact: I find people unbearable to be around.

Fact: Bedbugs can be found wherever humans are. 60

Bed Bugs: For Pest Control Operators

References

1. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/23/realestate/23cov.html?pagewanted=2

2. http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/article_30055d58-4621-5f94-ac62-9e28f6e4339b.html

3. http://www.ipm.ucdavis.edu/PMG/PESTNOTES/pn7454.html

4. http://www1.agric.gov.ab.ca/$department/deptdocs.nsf/all/agdex121

5. http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/article_30055d58-4621-5f94-ac62-9e28f6e4339b.html

6. http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/article_30055d58-4621-5f94-ac62-9e28f6e4339b.html

7. Fuck my life.

8. http://www.ca.uky.edu/entomology/entfacts/ef636.asp

9. http://www.aaafta.com/forum/current-events/29747-bedbugs-epidemic-increases.html

10. http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/181/5/287

11. http://newyorkvsbedbugs.org/2009/03/19/nycs-bed-bug-advisory-board-the-mayors-press-release/

12. http://brooklyn.ny1.com/content/news_beats/politics/122811/city-leaders-outline-new-bed-bug-fighting-strategy/

13. lancaster.unl.edu/pest/resources/263bedbg.pdf

14. http://newyorkvsbedbugs.org/2009/04/16/new-study-of-bed-bug-bites-suggests-most-people-do-react/

15. http://www.gabcast.com/gc1/index.php?a=episodes&id=1017&castPage=3

16. http://www.livescience.com/animals/090112-bed-bug-resistance.html

17. http://entomology.oregonstate.edu/sites/default/files/Bed_Bugs.pdf

18. http://bedbugger.com/2010/02/20/spread-bed-bugs-quickly-ask-me-how/

19. http://www.ca.uky.edu/entomology/entfacts/ef636.asp

20. http://www.ca.uky.edu/entomology/entfacts/ef636.asp

21. http://hubpages.com/hub/Bed-Bugs-Signs

22. lancaster.unl.edu/pest/resources/263bedbg.pdf

23. http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2010/08/30/new-york-governor-paterson-signs-bedbug-law/

24. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/23/realestate/23cov.html?pagewanted=2

25.http://www.brickunderground.com/blog/2009/07/bed_bug_hotspots_brooklyn_still_king_followed_by_upper_manhattan_and_uws

26. http://www.housingnyc.com/html/resources/hmc/sub2/art4.html

27. No, really. Fuck my life.

28. http://www.deptofnumbers.com/nyc/home-sales/brooklyn/

29. http://www.faqs.org/sec-filings/100106/Brooklyn-Federal-Bancorp-Inc_10-K/

30. http://www.deptofnumbers.com/nyc/home-sales/brooklyn/

31. http://www.ny.frb.org/regional/profile_nyc.html

32. http://www.tregny.com/content/rental_market_reports/march-2010-brooklyn-rental-market-report/

33. http://www.foreclosuredeals.com/wp/brooklyn-foreclosures-highest-among-nyc-borough-filings/

34. www.state.nj.us/health/eoh/phss/documents/bedbugfactsheet.pdf

35. Sean Rollo, entomologist, founder of thebedbugresource.com

http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/photos-of-blood-smears

36. http://newyorkvsbedbugs.org/2009/04/19/qa-with-lou-sorkin/

37.http://www.nysipm.cornell.edu/publications/bed_bugs/files/caller_guidance.pdf

38. No, really…

39. http://newyorkvsbedbugs.org/2009/02/01/an-interview-with-bed-bug-researcher-alvaro-romero/

40. Activity of bifenthrin, chlorfenapyr, fipronil, and thiamethoxam against red imported fire ants (Hymenoptera: Formicidae).

B A Wiltz, D R Suiter and W A Gardner

J Eco Entomol 103:754 (2010) PMID 20568621

41. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bedbugs/DS00663/DSECTION=prevention (information corrected some time after I saw it and after several people on bedbugger.com posted complaints about the statement’s absurdity).

42. http://www.ca.uky.edu/entomology/entfacts/ef636.asp

43. http://www.nysipm.cornell.edu/whats_bugging_you/bed_bugs/bedbugs_faqs.asp

44. http://www.ipm.ucdavis.edu/PMG/PESTNOTES/pn7454.html

45. http://www.pctonline.com/Article.aspx?article_id=38047

46. http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20100824/NEWS01/8250326/We-re-No-1-uh-in-bedbugs

47. http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20100824/NEWS01/8250326/We-re-No-1-uh-in-bedbugs

48. http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20100824/NEWS01/8250326/We-re-No-1-uh-in-bedbugs

49. https://www.canada-bedbugs.com/10-most-bedbug-infested-cities/ , http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/40283/

50. http://www.fundinguniverse.com/company-histories/The-Limited-Inc-Company-History.html

51. http://articles.latimes.com/2009/apr/24/business/fi-hollister24

52. http://www.fundinguniverse.com/company-histories/The-Limited-Inc-Company-History.html

53. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20014216-10391704.html